Sunbonnet Soliloquy
By Jewell Ellen Smith
Long ago, and far away, on one of the islands in the seven seas, there lived a people who told a strange myth about creation.
Well, actually, it wasn’t as strange as it was funny.
This primitive story had been fabricated to try to explain how man came
to be on earth and why every man is not a genius. What is even more fascinating, it tells how it came about that
women were put here!
The legend the island people told goes this way:
One day the younger gods were in a joyful mood and floated down to
earth to play games. And when they ran
out of their usual stock of games, they decided to make something--something
new, something unusual, novel.
After a bit of discussion among themselves--and without consulting the
older and wiser gods--the group of young gods made five men. One was yellow, one was brown, one was
black, one was red, and one was white.
It was fun to the young gods to watch the men run about. They, too, liked to play. They laughed a lot. Their hearts seemed as light as the fluffy
clouds in the sky. In fact, the
youngest of the young gods who was in charge of making the men’s hearts
confided later that he had poked a wad of cloud fluff into each heart.
Before the day was over, though, the young creators realized they had
made a mistake, for when they got ready to go back up to heaven, the men wanted
to go with them. What was even worse,
the young gods discovered that these newly created fellows were as smart as
they were.
“Good grief!” cried the young gods to each other. “What’ll we do with these creatures?”
“I’ll go up to heaven and ask the older and wiser gods what to do,”
volunteered the young god who had stuffed all five hearts with cloud fluff.
So he flew up to heaven and was back in less than three minutes-all
smiles.
He gathered all the other young gods around him and whispered, very
softly, so that the five men could not hear, “All we’ve got to do is put ‘em to
sleep, open up their heads, and take out a little bit of their brains!”
“Of course!” said the other young gods.
And that’s what they did. But,
when the men waked up, the young gods notices that they were sad and dejected,
long of face, little interested in going to heaven or anywhere else. And, they were not even half as smart as the
gods.
“Good grief!” cried the young volunteer who had just returned from
heaven. “We’ve overdone it! I’ll zip
back up and ask the older gods how to remedy this!”
“Yeah,” said the other young gods, “we can’t leave these poor wretches
in this condition!”
The volunteer was soon back from heaven--all smiles.
“It’s simple!” he whispered.
“The wise gods say that the thing to do is to give each man a wife--to
compensate for the brains we took away.”
“Sure!” cried the other young gods, much relieved that their mistake
could be corrected. “That’s what we’ll
do.”
So they made five beautiful women -- m five colors, of course -- and
presented them as wives to the five rather bewildered, but delighted, men. This accomplished, the young gods zoomed back
up to heaven -- all smiles.
And after that, all the islands in the seven seas and all the rest of
the world besides became filled with the children and grandchildren and
ever-so-great grandchildren of the five men and their wives.
Do your dare read this myth to your husband?
Would he holler out “That was a mean, low-down trick the gods played on
us poor men!”?
Or, would he murmur “Sweetheart, those old gods sure knew what they
were doing! What would a stupid guy
like me do if he didn’t have a sweet, beautiful, smart wife like you?”
(I wouldn’t dare read it to [husband] Smitty! I know what he
would yell!)
Seriously, life is a complicated business.
And it takes the best judgment that both a man and his wife can muster
to be able to cope with its problems.
Through the ages, countless women have offered advice to their
husbands-- some of it good, some not so good.
See what you think of the following true stories of three wives who
volunteered advice to their husbands during extremely critical times.
First, there was Job’s wife. Job was the greatest and richest man in
all the land of Uz. (A part of northern Arabia.) But during the height of his wonderful life calamity came.
Job lost everything--his seven sons and three daughters, his seven
thousand sheep, his three thousand camels, his five hundred yoke of oxen, his
five hundred she asses, and his very great household of servants.
To top that off, Job was stricken with a dread disease that left his
whole body covered with sores.
One day as Job sat on an ash heap and mourned, his wife said, “Job, you
ought to curse God, and die!”
Job paid her no attention. His only comment was “Thou speakest as one
of the foolish women speaketh!”
End of Job’s story is that he regained his health, his wealth--everything. The Bible says “the Lord gave Job twice as
much as he had before.”
Second, there was Claudia Procula, the wife of Pontius Pilate.
On the morning that Jesus the Christ stood before Pontius Pilate, even
as Pilate was sitting on the “Judgment seat”--and the mob out in the Jerusalem
street was screaming “Crucify him! Crucify him!“--Claudia Procula sent her
husband this urgent message:
“Have thou nothing to do with that just man: for I have suffered many things
this day in a dream because of him!”
Pilate ignored his wife’s plea. He ordered the crucifixion, and it was
carried out.
Nobody is quite sure about the end of Pilate’s story. His administration as Roman governor in
Judea ended abruptly. Some records
indicate that he was banished to what is now southern France and eventually
committed suicide.
Third, there was the wife of the able, crafty and cruel Clovis, king of
the Franks, who lived from 481 to 511 A.D.
When Clovis first became king, at the age of sixteen, the Franks
worshiped the old gods of the Teutons, Woden and Thor and Tyr.
Some years later, though, as Clovis was leading his warriors in a
fierce, bloody battle against some neighboring Teutons, he saw the enemy begin
to drive his Franks from the field. He
prayed loudly to the old gods, but still his troops gave way.
“Then,” records one historian, “Clovis bethought him that his wife
Clitilda had long been urging him to give up his old gods and become a Christian.
He determined now to try the God of his wife...’O Christ Jesus, (he prayed) I
beseech Thee for aid! If Thou wilt
grant me victory over these enemies, I will believe in Thee and be Baptized in
Thy Name!’”
End of the Clovis story is that the Franks won the battle. Clovis
became a Christian. His warriors followed his example. And, in time, the people
of the whole region that is now France turned to Christianity--all as a result
of Clotilda’s advice to Clovis.
The end of this piece about creation and about wives giving advice to
their husbands is this:
Read your husband the myth about men being a bit lacking in brains, if
you think it will amuse him.
And always--in critical times and normal times--offer your husband your
best thoughts. Whether he follows your
advice is a different matter, a matter for him to decide.
Published
September 1981. Click your browser’s ‘Back’
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