The Difference Between “I’m Sorry” and Repentance
Joel 2:1-2, 12-17; 2 Corinthians 5:20b-6:2

A Meditation for Ash Wednesday by Thomas J. Boone, Ph.D.
Central Presbyterian Church, Mobile AL, Feb. 6, 2008

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference” (The Serenity Prayer). Aside from the edited version of the Shepherd’s Prayer, “Please God, don’t let me mess up,” the Serenity Prayer stands as a modern icon among prayers that even the non-religious recognize. At its core, the Serenity Prayer is a cry to God to help us with the change we cannot do on our own. Any time we at last decide to hand over to God the sin that is dragging us down like lead weights on a hot air balloon, then it’s going to mean changing our lives, with God’s help.

Perhaps you’ve come to this service because you feel it in your gut. There’s something wrong, something’s got to change. You’re tired of the sin that keeps weighing you down, but you can’t seem to kick it. You’ve heard enough sermons on grace, and deep down you know it’s time to come to terms with the sin and give it completely over to God. You’ve said “I’m sorry” enough times; now you’re ready to say it for the last time. This first stage of repentance is the Holy Spirit working in you saying, “It’s time to repent.” This isn’t repentance itself, but it’s the beginning.

Sadly, though that’s where so many of us stop. We identify a sin we know we should change, but soon we find ourselves right back at it again. One of the signs of true repentance is that we move beyond the thought, “Gosh, I really am sorry about that,” and into action. If we’ve not moved beyond the thought then odds are we’ve not done the second step of repentance, which is to let ourselves mourn the potential loss of the sin.

I use the word “mourn” because when there is true repentance it can be accompanied by tears and a gut-wrenching resistance as we give up that which we’ve loved for so long. Repentance means dying to something. Paul writes this beautiful promise in Philippians 3:21: “God will transform the body of our humiliation that it may be comforted to the body of His glory.” God wants to take this body that is mired in sin, and transform it into His perfect image. But this means dying to our old selves. As long as we’re alive we’re going to struggle in the battle between our old selves and our Christ-selves. Paul writes in Romans 6:11 that each Christian “is dead to sin and alive to God.” But if we were dead to sin why does it keep weighing us down? That’s because we’re still holding onto it. We may know we ought to give it up, but for some reason we won’t, or feel that we can’t.

Each of us has a degree of comfort with sin. For some of us a sin is our way of coping with stress. For others of us the sin gives us security in times of trouble, and we’re afraid to give that up. That’s why I started this meditation with the Serenity Prayer. Abandoning sin takes courage because it means doing the hard work of cleaning up the heart. Who wants to face those long term skeletons, especially if it means going to someone we know and making certain admissions? Who wants to face the humiliation of an enduring sin, especially when we’ve denied it for so long? Who wants to give up what has given us a lot of pleasure, even though it has destroyed us? True repentance, unlike saying “I’m sorry” over and over again, takes a lot of courage because it means tearing ourselves away from our dysfunctional dependence on death.

The evil one has tricked us into believing three things about sin. First, we cloak our language about sin by not calling the death we cling to “sin.” We use other words to hide ourselves from its reality. We say we have a “cross to bear” or a “thorn in the flesh” or “a challenge.” But, sin is death and if we linger in a sin we’re lingering in death.

This is a second thing that we’ve been tricked into believing about sin. We think that the sin is life, and that life without the sin is unsatisfying. We’ve got it all backwards! We live in a hedonistic culture that says “If it feels good, do it, as long as it’s not hurting anyone else.” How many marriages have broken up over adultery? How many families have been ripped apart by alcoholism or gambling? How much money from society will go to cover the health care costs of the personal sin of gluttony? How many of our self-centered pursuits have left a wake of pain in those around us? Sin is death, and it leaves a fingerprint no matter how well we think we’ve mastered it. Sin always has a ripple effect. It may not be visible immediately, it may take years, but eventually that ripple effect will become a chaotic storm over our lives that will destroy us and that is the goal of the Evil One.

A third thing we’ve been tricked into believing about sin is that because we’re covered in grace we don’t need to focus so much on sin. Paul says in Romans 6:12 “do not let sin exercise dominion in your mortal bodies to make you obey their passions.” In other words, sin means having misplaced allegiances. Either we serve the Lord or we serve the sin. We can’t have two masters, but how easily we accept the authority of sin in our lives thinking that Jesus has got our back covered. Yes Jesus has our six, but folks this doesn’t give us license to sin freely. Who is your Lord? If your Lord is Jesus, then you must abandon serving the idols that sin makes it easy to worship.

The scriptures tonight make two points very clear. First, we have something to confess, and not only to confess it, but to hand it completely over to God. We have some sin to release to God so that He can purge it from us. Second, the result of doing this is that we become closer to God. The only way to get closer to God is to repent of the sin that prevents us from going further up and further in to Jesus.

Mourn the loss of the sin, and let the Spirit heal that loss through the joy of choosing life over death. Jesus is able to rescue you from the death of sin that is at work in your body every day. The Spirit is calling each of you to let go of one sin tonight and to commit yourselves to life in His name.

What is the sin that is most weighing you down and keeping you from the fullness of life in Christ? What sin are you tired of and feel in your gut that it’s time to give to God completely? What’s the one sin that if Jesus did remove it from you that life would become so much more joyful and peaceful? What’s the sin that you’ve been relying on for pleasure and satisfaction, when in fact it has only been dragging you down deeper into death? This is the sin that God is asking you to entrust into his hands tonight. This is the sin about which the Spirit is saying to you right now, “It’s time to give this to me.” You’ll know you’ve got it right because it’s the one sin right now that you least want to forfeit, but your life in Christ depends on doing this.

This shouldn’t be easy. For you to follow through on this act will mean renewing your commitment daily. It will mean going to scripture and finding what God’s Word has to say about the sin you’re sacrificing. It will mean fighting against every fiber of desire to follow this sin you’ve nurtured in life. No sacrifice is easy, but every sacrifice brings pleasure to God, and when He is pleased with you He will bless you. Jesus promises us in Luke 15 that there is joy in heaven over one person who repents. Come back home, tonight. Even if you come crying, trembling, or afraid, come for you will be free. If burning the paper you bring feels like ripping something out of your soul, then come for the Spirit wants you to live more richly, deeply, and fully than you’ve ever lived before. Just by all means, come.